Defense Secretary Designate Gates Only Half As Corrupt as Rumsfeld; "He Also Has Better Hair," Notes the President
Robert Gates, the former CIA Director tapped by President Bush to replace outsed Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfuld, is only half as corrupt as the man whose job he will take, according to sources within the White House. "Gates' threshold for corruption, profiteering and beginning armed conflict for personal gain is some 50% lower than what we saw with Rumsfeld," said a government doctor who wishes to remain anonymous. "Thus, the chances of another Iraq happening under his watch are 1 out of 2, instead of absolutely certain, as they were under the former Secretary." For this reason, most experts believe Gates will be confirmed without any major roadblocks.
